How I Paid for College: A Novel of Sex, Theft, Friendship and Musical Theater

It's 1983, Wallingford, New Jersey, a sleepy bedroom community outside Manhattan. Seventeen-year-old Edward Zanni is Peter Panning his way through a carefree summer of magic and mischief, sending underwear up flagpoles and re-arranging lawn animals in compromising positions. The fun comes to a halt however, when Edward's father remarries and refuses to pay for Edward to study at Julliard.

Edward's truly in a bind. He's ineligible for scholarships because his father earns too much. He's unable to contact his mother because she's somewhere in Peru. And, in a sure sign that he's destined for a life in the arts, Edward's incapable of holding down a job. So he turns to his loyal (but immoral) misfit friends to help him steal the tuition fees from his father, all the while practising for their high school performance of Grease. There's Paula, a caustically funny virgin determined to have sex before she dies of raging hormones; Kelly, the ex-cheerleader-turned Sandra Dee who Edward thinks he's in love with; Doug, the ex-football player-turned-Danny Zuko who Edward thinks he also may be in love with; and Nate, a felony-prone mastermind, unflagging in his ruse and dedication to Edward's cause. Disguising themselves as nuns and priests, they merrily scheme their way through embezzlement, money-laundering, identity-theft, forgery, and blackmail. But along the way, Edward also learns the value of friendship, hard work and how you're not really a man until you can beat up your father, metaphorically or otherwise.